I hope you are finding a bit of peace on your staycation. I can't imagine being in this for 4 years, but stories like yours are bracing me for it. This hit us 13 mo ago, estranged for 9 mo. In our estrangement letter, we were told we were never there for him emotionally. I noticed that in your letter above. Is it a common theme with these trans kids coming from "privileged"homes?
It's a very middle class thing for sure, here in the UK rather than "privileged", I'd say. For a lot of kids, they reach an age in their early teens when quite natural urges develop into thoughts about creating a greater separation between child and parent, and this is quite normal teenagery stage - just wanting more independence.
But once gender groomers exploit this stage of a young person's development, they throw a love-bombing party that is irresistible to someone wanting to feel special, and as dutiful member of this new glittery tribe. And so the cult move in as an alternative queer family to replace real parents. The groomers know exactly what they're doing, and what they're exploiting.
The accusations you describe are almost identical to those thrown at us - "not there, emotionally', neglectful, harmful, bigoted, unsupportive etc etc This just justifies their separation and is cheered on by those in the bubble around the child/YP. All this is generally far less likely to happen in traditionally working class families where concerns are far less introspective, and more focussed on the everyday requirements to earn money, put food on table, raise good kids, get decent pay, keep kids in with good friends, keep them in school, and all the rest of it. There isn't time or energy for naval gazing or exploring gender fluidity. The women of many northern cities (as was recently discussed) wouldn't put up with gender neutral toilets, like those soft southern helicopter parents do (to paraphrase). TRA's know this, and it always leads to trouble
exactly, it means "you have the wrong thoughts" but it's framed so as to attack the parents integrity and love. I find it deeply deeply ironic - and rather sick, how the trans movement continually bleat about "being erased". And yet, the trans child/YP will completely erase their own parents, remove them from their life, and reshape and rewrite history to suit their freshly-minted "identity"
Thank you for the perspective. I guess I was looking too deeply to figure out where I failed to see a pattern of interactions where I wasn't there emotionally for him. On the contrary, I was always there asking questions but never getting responses. It is a clouded or biased memory.
So Sorry about your daughter. As a Christian, I find the story of the prodigal son comforting when my own children have wandered (in different ways from yours), especially these lines: “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father...." (from Luke 17:11-12). May our own wandering children come to their senses and return, as well as those of thousands of other parents!
Remarkable images, as always! For those subscribing to Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (PITT) substack, Abel Garcia, re-identified man (de-transitioner) published a scathing critique of the mental health practitioners he sought help from, after he realized he made a mistake and childhood trauma was the actual core problem. He mentions that the 2+ years of estrogen he ingested resulted in a tremor in facial/shoulder area on his left side. He surmises that the synthetic estrogen makes him more prone to Multiple Sclerosis. Has anyone else heard of this in males who went on estrogen? Finasteride, (Merck) the "hair loss prevention pill" has disastrous side effects, and is commonly given to females together with testosterone. US law firms advertising the detransitioner malpractice suits were pleased to acquire that little nugget.
Hold on to every moment of collateral beauty in life, your sanity depends on it DYC!
Ute Heggen, (trans widow) author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow (2022)
I hope you are finding a bit of peace on your staycation. I can't imagine being in this for 4 years, but stories like yours are bracing me for it. This hit us 13 mo ago, estranged for 9 mo. In our estrangement letter, we were told we were never there for him emotionally. I noticed that in your letter above. Is it a common theme with these trans kids coming from "privileged"homes?
It's a very middle class thing for sure, here in the UK rather than "privileged", I'd say. For a lot of kids, they reach an age in their early teens when quite natural urges develop into thoughts about creating a greater separation between child and parent, and this is quite normal teenagery stage - just wanting more independence.
But once gender groomers exploit this stage of a young person's development, they throw a love-bombing party that is irresistible to someone wanting to feel special, and as dutiful member of this new glittery tribe. And so the cult move in as an alternative queer family to replace real parents. The groomers know exactly what they're doing, and what they're exploiting.
The accusations you describe are almost identical to those thrown at us - "not there, emotionally', neglectful, harmful, bigoted, unsupportive etc etc This just justifies their separation and is cheered on by those in the bubble around the child/YP. All this is generally far less likely to happen in traditionally working class families where concerns are far less introspective, and more focussed on the everyday requirements to earn money, put food on table, raise good kids, get decent pay, keep kids in with good friends, keep them in school, and all the rest of it. There isn't time or energy for naval gazing or exploring gender fluidity. The women of many northern cities (as was recently discussed) wouldn't put up with gender neutral toilets, like those soft southern helicopter parents do (to paraphrase). TRA's know this, and it always leads to trouble
exactly, it means "you have the wrong thoughts" but it's framed so as to attack the parents integrity and love. I find it deeply deeply ironic - and rather sick, how the trans movement continually bleat about "being erased". And yet, the trans child/YP will completely erase their own parents, remove them from their life, and reshape and rewrite history to suit their freshly-minted "identity"
Thank you for the perspective. I guess I was looking too deeply to figure out where I failed to see a pattern of interactions where I wasn't there emotionally for him. On the contrary, I was always there asking questions but never getting responses. It is a clouded or biased memory.
You didn't fail :-) and I know it always feels like that. But our children can become expert at making us think that
It's manipulation isn't it? Emotionally abusive.
So Sorry about your daughter. As a Christian, I find the story of the prodigal son comforting when my own children have wandered (in different ways from yours), especially these lines: “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father...." (from Luke 17:11-12). May our own wandering children come to their senses and return, as well as those of thousands of other parents!
Remarkable images, as always! For those subscribing to Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (PITT) substack, Abel Garcia, re-identified man (de-transitioner) published a scathing critique of the mental health practitioners he sought help from, after he realized he made a mistake and childhood trauma was the actual core problem. He mentions that the 2+ years of estrogen he ingested resulted in a tremor in facial/shoulder area on his left side. He surmises that the synthetic estrogen makes him more prone to Multiple Sclerosis. Has anyone else heard of this in males who went on estrogen? Finasteride, (Merck) the "hair loss prevention pill" has disastrous side effects, and is commonly given to females together with testosterone. US law firms advertising the detransitioner malpractice suits were pleased to acquire that little nugget.
Hold on to every moment of collateral beauty in life, your sanity depends on it DYC!
Ute Heggen, (trans widow) author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow (2022)
uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com