I read this just after seeing Graham Linehan's post that The Tavistock was closed. Your work is remarkable and I believe your writing (ongoing, to your surprise, and my approval!) and your art are expressing something healing not only for yourself, but many others. I feel a bit lighter today, perhaps it's the fact I'll appear on Women's Declaration International on Aug. 27, with Jo Brew, or perhaps the request from another video producer for another interview. I'm realizing that my story, as an "ex-wife of" is also about the grooming, the indoctrinating and brainwashing from "sexologists" like Dr. Jack Turban (whose data is completely debunked, who now says about de-transitioners that "identity is dynamic") My ex-husband's sexologist was Christine Wheeler, who, according to her sworn affidavit, diagnosed a man I'd known for 18 years "in one appointment" as if she "could picture" him in drag, and that's it, magic diagnosis. Thanks for what you do. I too, have been rejected by my children. In my case, for remembering that their father is a man. (and I bet he'd de-transition if it became "the thing")
Ute Heggen, author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow
Thank you Utte, I'll keep trying, if nothing else :-D I must say, I keep veering between a feeling of enormous positivity and hope - like when you see the (stone)wall being dismantled, brick by brick - Alison Bailey winning (most of) her case, closing the Tavistock, the pushback against Stonewall attempting to groom toddlers etc. And then (as happened this week) you hear a national radio station phone-in and realise how vast the gap really is between those who see the bigger picture, and those who can't/won't/don't. I'm having most difficulty with simply being believed, well that and not being able to callout those who have abused our daughter and queered her away from herself & us. I'm so sorry for what's happened to you and your family Ute, but also pleased that you're able to get word out there. Stay strong
It is a roller coaster. Also hard because we know there are so many others like us, and yet to come. Art and nature are what I live for. I thank you for this response, Ute
Ich frage mich auch, was in den Köpfen dieser jungen, hübschen Frauen passiert. Ich denke, es ist die Hoffnung, dass das Leben anders, besser ist, wenn man das Geschlecht ändert (...ja wie soll man das Geschlecht ändern, hallo, ist ein angenähter Penis dann funktionsfähig für das was er gedacht ist 🙄). Die Realiät wird sie irgendeinmal einholen, der Preis ist hoch dafür. Ich glaube es ist wie mit Drogen, die Kinder glauben nicht, dass es schadet. Nur dieser Transscheiss, wird sogar von Ärzten unterstützt, ja wie soll man da als Mutter/Vater nicht die Zuversicht für das Leben verlieren. Mein Leben hat sich auch komplett verändert.
We, as parents of children lost to this or on the path, are all trying to find a way to manage the trauma. Your images are captivating. The tiled pseudopeople are moving not because of the technical capabilities but because of the questions they raise. Who are these people who look so much like our children but have ceased to be them any longer. Familiar but foreign. The shocking effectiveness of this ideology, with it's vast network of support from the highest levels of society, is something to behold. Growing up in the Manson/Jonestown days, I could never understand how someone could be so completely taken over, fascinated by the idea of "deprogramming". It's near impossible to comprehend how completely ideas tossed around online have remade my child. I've seen glimpses of my son — rarely, maybe twice over the last two years — and I wonder if he's trapped in there somewhere or if those are the flickers of a dying flame.
We've had some help from cult experts, 2 in particular who we've listened to regarding their own experiences within cults, and those of others who they've helped. It's well known that people inside a cult have no idea that they're actually in one. Also, it's clear from so many family of cult inductees that it's often very caring and sensitive people that they go for. Our daughter has literally been turned into a tyrant - by the ideology, and by the people who groomed and now affirm and validate her. The saddest thing for me, in writing all this is that I just can't let go of the beautiful person she once was, before they destroyed her - before they encouraged her to split from her parents completely, before every last trace of empathy was gone, and narcissism and rigid thinking took over. I relate very much to this idea of the former self as being trapped still residing inside an alien. I see our daughter as being frozen in the ground while an avatar walks the earth in her place. Because while she's where she is, there's always hope, always potential. Which is why I can't stand it when people say I should try and "let go". Well you can do that with grief, but while she remains frozen in the ground she can always reawaken. Letting go would mean giving up all hope and I couldn't possibly. I have learnt to regulate myself better, and to detach when I really need to - otherwise I'll fight as hard as I can to change the landscape. I think, for the time being, the sunk cost fallacy means she's too invested to allow anything in that would challenge her. But, again, there's always hope. Thanks for responding, please come back any time
Thanks for sharing, yup that's a pretty powerful equation. Took a while for us to fully understand the psychoactive effects and mood changes caused by testosterone - not just the physical effects
I read this just after seeing Graham Linehan's post that The Tavistock was closed. Your work is remarkable and I believe your writing (ongoing, to your surprise, and my approval!) and your art are expressing something healing not only for yourself, but many others. I feel a bit lighter today, perhaps it's the fact I'll appear on Women's Declaration International on Aug. 27, with Jo Brew, or perhaps the request from another video producer for another interview. I'm realizing that my story, as an "ex-wife of" is also about the grooming, the indoctrinating and brainwashing from "sexologists" like Dr. Jack Turban (whose data is completely debunked, who now says about de-transitioners that "identity is dynamic") My ex-husband's sexologist was Christine Wheeler, who, according to her sworn affidavit, diagnosed a man I'd known for 18 years "in one appointment" as if she "could picture" him in drag, and that's it, magic diagnosis. Thanks for what you do. I too, have been rejected by my children. In my case, for remembering that their father is a man. (and I bet he'd de-transition if it became "the thing")
Ute Heggen, author, In the Curated Woods, True Tales from a Grass Widow
uteheggengrasswidow.wordpress.com
Thank you Utte, I'll keep trying, if nothing else :-D I must say, I keep veering between a feeling of enormous positivity and hope - like when you see the (stone)wall being dismantled, brick by brick - Alison Bailey winning (most of) her case, closing the Tavistock, the pushback against Stonewall attempting to groom toddlers etc. And then (as happened this week) you hear a national radio station phone-in and realise how vast the gap really is between those who see the bigger picture, and those who can't/won't/don't. I'm having most difficulty with simply being believed, well that and not being able to callout those who have abused our daughter and queered her away from herself & us. I'm so sorry for what's happened to you and your family Ute, but also pleased that you're able to get word out there. Stay strong
It is a roller coaster. Also hard because we know there are so many others like us, and yet to come. Art and nature are what I live for. I thank you for this response, Ute
Ich frage mich auch, was in den Köpfen dieser jungen, hübschen Frauen passiert. Ich denke, es ist die Hoffnung, dass das Leben anders, besser ist, wenn man das Geschlecht ändert (...ja wie soll man das Geschlecht ändern, hallo, ist ein angenähter Penis dann funktionsfähig für das was er gedacht ist 🙄). Die Realiät wird sie irgendeinmal einholen, der Preis ist hoch dafür. Ich glaube es ist wie mit Drogen, die Kinder glauben nicht, dass es schadet. Nur dieser Transscheiss, wird sogar von Ärzten unterstützt, ja wie soll man da als Mutter/Vater nicht die Zuversicht für das Leben verlieren. Mein Leben hat sich auch komplett verändert.
We, as parents of children lost to this or on the path, are all trying to find a way to manage the trauma. Your images are captivating. The tiled pseudopeople are moving not because of the technical capabilities but because of the questions they raise. Who are these people who look so much like our children but have ceased to be them any longer. Familiar but foreign. The shocking effectiveness of this ideology, with it's vast network of support from the highest levels of society, is something to behold. Growing up in the Manson/Jonestown days, I could never understand how someone could be so completely taken over, fascinated by the idea of "deprogramming". It's near impossible to comprehend how completely ideas tossed around online have remade my child. I've seen glimpses of my son — rarely, maybe twice over the last two years — and I wonder if he's trapped in there somewhere or if those are the flickers of a dying flame.
We've had some help from cult experts, 2 in particular who we've listened to regarding their own experiences within cults, and those of others who they've helped. It's well known that people inside a cult have no idea that they're actually in one. Also, it's clear from so many family of cult inductees that it's often very caring and sensitive people that they go for. Our daughter has literally been turned into a tyrant - by the ideology, and by the people who groomed and now affirm and validate her. The saddest thing for me, in writing all this is that I just can't let go of the beautiful person she once was, before they destroyed her - before they encouraged her to split from her parents completely, before every last trace of empathy was gone, and narcissism and rigid thinking took over. I relate very much to this idea of the former self as being trapped still residing inside an alien. I see our daughter as being frozen in the ground while an avatar walks the earth in her place. Because while she's where she is, there's always hope, always potential. Which is why I can't stand it when people say I should try and "let go". Well you can do that with grief, but while she remains frozen in the ground she can always reawaken. Letting go would mean giving up all hope and I couldn't possibly. I have learnt to regulate myself better, and to detach when I really need to - otherwise I'll fight as hard as I can to change the landscape. I think, for the time being, the sunk cost fallacy means she's too invested to allow anything in that would challenge her. But, again, there's always hope. Thanks for responding, please come back any time
Keep on writing and creating Denton, the world needs your truth.
I shared on twitter. It's hard to understand how your daughter could turn on your gentle spirit except MENTAL ILLNESS + DRUGS + GROOMERS
Thanks for sharing, yup that's a pretty powerful equation. Took a while for us to fully understand the psychoactive effects and mood changes caused by testosterone - not just the physical effects